The Gift of Pain

I've told the story many times - but - bear with me and keep reading....

I was having grave struggles in my attitude - nothing new - but, this time I just couldn't get past my anger.  My anger was burning towards my best friend, my life partner - my husband.

As I struggled through my daily Bible reading - I paused - well, stopped - slammed the Book down - and cried out to God, "I can't get past this anger!"  With literal fear and trembling - I knew by asking I'd get an answer - I just wasn't sure I wanted to hear it....but, I asked again, "Show me....show me in your Word - today - what you would have me do."

It was a read-through-the-Bible-in-a-year journal I was following.  That day's reading was in Numbers 12 (go figure...God's way of impressing the importance of His word - my husband is an accountant).  This particular section was about Moses....actually, his brother Aaron and sister Miriam.  They were grumbling, too.   Aaron and Miriam didn't like Moses' wife, and they thought they weren't getting enough credit...blah, blah, blah.  Wow....human nature hasn't changed much.

The point is, they were grumbling against Moses - God's chosen servant......

"God's chosen one."  Now, on another day, I probably wouldn't read this in the same way - but, remember - I prayed.  My answer was found in verse 8, "Why, then, were you not afraid to speak against my servant Moses? (Insert 'Ron')  Yikes!  For the first time I was hit with the reality - Ron was God's servant - to me, to our family, to our church and others.  God's chosen one.

This is very serious.  To oppose Moses, whom God had put in this position, was to oppose God.  By opposing my husband, am I opposing God as well?

If this wasn't sobering enough -

Miriam was struck with leprosy....immediately....like snow.

My story takes a new turn.

"And Aaron said to Moses, 'Oh my lord, do not punish us because we have done foolishly and have sinned.'"

Sinned?  For grumbling?
Foolishness - yes - but, sin?
Wow

The pain of my anger is a warning signal.  It screams something is seriously wrong.  It's not just what I'm angry about - it's what is churning within.  Resentment? Jealousy? Selfishness? Entitlement? Hurt?  Whatever it is - there is pain.

Dr. Paul Brand wrote a book entitled, "The Gift of Pain" and his work with those stricken with leprosy (today it is known as Hanson's Disease).

The stigma with leprosy is to be 'unclean'.  Contagious.  Untouchable.  Ostracized.  Dirty.

Looking closer we see the literal numbing effects.

A leper loses all sense of touch.  They cannot feel pain.  They lose their fingers and toes because they cannot feel pain.  The sores on their bodies manifest due to infections resulting from burning their hand on a stove, stepping on a nail, being bitten by an animal or insect - the list goes on.  The disease has taken over unless treated.

Anger's undermining attitudes are like leprosy.  It comes on slowly - but, when festered, it gradually erodes the surface layers until, at last, there is not feeling whatsoever.

The symbolism of Miriam's leprosy is my sin - anger.

To overcome that sin - I return to the Cross.

The Cross of Calvary canceled my sin by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

My pain is laid at His feet.

How appropriate to remember this Easter.