I read a new book not long ago ... it was by chance I came upon it. I read it in about 30 minutes from beginning to end. When finished, I told my husband, "I could have written this." The author seemed to know my story.
"Nice Girls are taught early that serving God means earning God's love and sacrificing oneself to meet the needs of others. Unfortunately, after living a life she thought was what God demanded, her husband wanted, her kids needed, and her church expected, Lynne Hybels felt utterly lost - both to herself and to God.
Lynn found herself depressed and depleted in energy and faith. She realized she was serving the God of her childhood - a demanding God who drained everything out of her. She needed to get off the treadmill of trying to earn his approval. So, she stopped. Everything.
Throughout these short pages, Lynn describes her questions and life as she journeys to wellness in Christ. Her story could be mine, or any other woman's these days. So many of us are living and giving beyond what is meant for us to give; working so hard to make everyone else happy - performing beyond what we should physically, or emotionally, carry - alone. Ah, the loneliness.
Nice girls carry fears, Lynn explains - "Nice girls don't step outside their box!" she seems to shout, exasperated. They don't make waves. They don't try new things. They might fail. She may even offend those who think she should just .... be .... nice!
Lynn hits the wall, 'crashes' .... and .... does nothing. She is drained. All she can do is sit. And wait. As days turned to months, and months to seasons - Lynn ever so slowly begins to grasp .... God... the adult God .... the One True God. Alone - the Presence arrived, and He whispers -
"I love you....Right here. Right now...I want you to rest....I want you to receive refreshment...I want you to listen to music...to dance...to be secure...
"I wasn't the one cracking the whip....telling you to work harder....or made you feel guilty when you relaxed. I was the one who saw you, who knew you....who longed to restore your energy."
The story does not end here. Lynn's journey is her own, but she has paved the way for me, and other women like me, to heal and grow into who God has created in us to be. This is where I want to spend some time pondering.
I asked my husband to read this book....for me....to understand my troubled heart. He did...and he does.
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